Category Archives: Relationship

THE INSIDE MAN CONFERENCE 2022

Mr. Patrick Uduma (Convener)

THE INSIDE MAN
Presents:
“The Superior Man” 02 -05 – 2022 @ The Arena Event Center, 37 Tombia Street, New G.R.A, Phase 2, Port Harcourt.
Introduction:
Inside Man was birthed from the place of Mr. Patrick Uduma’s desire to celebrate his birthday with Men and identify the common struggles of Men to form a platform that helps Men to share their individual experiences in order to encourage and inspire and create a doable action that we all can benefit from.
Vision:
To re-awaken and foster the co-creation of a quality Man.
Objectives:
Re-parent, identify, own and express the Man in you.
Benefits:
Clarity, Wealth, Health, Network.
Belief:
I am the Superior Man. My Life’s lens is grounded in goodness that conditions my thought life superintending my believe life, ensuring a distinctive attitude in joy which produces excellent character required to manifest my intended life.
TOPICS AND PANELISTS:
Purpose Discovery– (Patrick Uduma)
Entrepreneurs/Business- (Uche Onochie)
Relationship– (Kenny Ajibade)
Health- (Okoro Stephen)
Leadership and Governance- (Osinachi Nwandem)
Finance- (Kingsley Chukwujindu)
The conference was moderated by Chinedu The Oracle and Jude Omabebe. of Nigeria Info Radio Port Harcourt.

Cross-Section of Attendees


OPENING REMARKS BY MR. PATRICK UDUMA: In his words, “I am so excited to be here, for the fact that is my birthday and I am celebrating it with Men!”. This Birthday is dedicated to Men..To be a Man in Nigeria, is a battered experience. Gone through tough times, as a Man, trek miles to go to school. Nobody will believe you to share your truth. Raised in the mud, but no longer in the mud, now in the midst of Marbles. Good-evening Superior Men, it is my pleasure to welcome all Men into the “INSIDE MAN”. The essence, is to proffer solutions across Men’s struggles. The INSIDE MAN CONFERENCE was awakened to foster and cheer a quality Man. Over four (4) years, building quality Men.
We are here to re-define Success, because Success is not about Money. Men will be awakened and get back their strength. We are going to change certain belief system that are not delivery, we will evaluate such systems. Intentionally, avoid the following Four (4) things:

  1. Fault Finding: Each time, we see something to complain, it destroys our intent.
  2. Blaming: We blame our Parents and our Leaders for everything that goes wrong.
  3. Complaining and Judging: If you are a Man here, you need an instructor. “Your progress is rooted on Instruction”. Are you doing Life, or Life is doing you? When you argue so much, Life is doing well and the reverse is also true.
  4. “Your personal power has nothing to do with your person”: One of the signs of Great Men and Superior Men are Compassion and Empathy.

Things that can change you for good:

  1. How a Man See: Your thought life is how you interact and connect.
  2. Dwell in Goodness: That’s Mr. Patrick’s Belief System and that has changed how he does life. You can adopt yours…
  3. We are Men with Community/Commitment.
  4. Honesty; Value the time of others.

UCHE ONOCHIE (BUSINESS/ENTREPRENEURSHIP):
Men are struggling: It’s an honour to Celebrate Men. “When you don’t succeed, you are irresponsible”. -Men are not used to crying- I have come as a voice of encouragement to tell you to go again.
What is Business?
What is Entrepreneurship?
Who is an Entrepreneur?
It takes a lot to do business and get it right. 90% of Start-Ups fail in the first 5 years, because of ignorance among others.
A Business is a “going-concern” for profit or non-profit. Business is an entity.
Entrepreneurship is the creation/extraction of value. The process of setting up a Business. You must have respect for your Business as a Personality of its own, otherwise, it will disrespect you.
An Entrepreneur is an individual who creates a new business; He bears the risks and enjoy the rewards that comes afterward.
Entrepreneurship is the oldest profession. The greatest tool an Entrepreneur needs is the gift of “Observation”. Understanding that there is a need or a problem to solve. Entrepreneurs are problem solvers. You invent, because there is a problem. If you don’t have an idea that is solving societal problem, don’t jump into business.
Three Things Needed to Serve:
a) Service Delivery: The risk comes from translating that idea into reality. Business is the vehicle that you need to bring those ideas to reality. Most of the Fortune 500 Companies started during recession…Microsoft etc. In Nigeria, we are in recession, this is the best time for Start-Ups to employ disruptive ideas to gain the Market-place. “When you see a Man that is Successful, you see a Man that has risked it all”. “Until you are ready to lose it all, you will not be able to gain it all”. Start a Business, young people, this is your time to explore. “Business is not an Assumption”. “Build your Business as if you want to sell it”.
b) Start building Locally, but focus Globally.
c) Build Systems that works: Get the right people in your Business. Don’t go and engage your brothers. Nobody kills Businesses like brothers. Begin to build systems and earn in Dollars ($). Earn in Dollars, no matter how small. There is a Blessing on the go.
BARR. OSINACHI NWANDEM (LEADERSHIP/GOVERNANCE):
Leadership and Governance, each time its discussed, we look at corruption. The solutions to Leadership and Governance starts with us, not the Politicians. Business issues like; Corruption, Lack of Accountability, Integrity Issues.
Why do we discuss Leadership and Governance in an all-Men Conference? Governance are structures that enables Leadership. Governance is the Motto that drives Leadership. Leadership and Governance are geared by “Influence”. A Leader with “Influence” is able to change people’s thoughts, belief’s etc. Influence can be positive or negative, it is determined by the results.
Traits of Positive Influence:
Accountability, Transparency, Goodwill; where you exude positive influence, you gain “value”. “A Leaders influence is dependent on his persona”.
Six (6) Posers for Success in Life/Business/Career:
a) Your “Mission”?
b) Do you have a “Vision”?
c) What are your “Values”?
d) Do you have the “Right People”?
e) How is your “Environment”?
f) How is your “Culture”?
PANEL SESSION:
Some inputs:
“No system survives without an ideology”…. Uche Onochie
“Your environment is in you, until you want to say No”…. Uche Onochie
John Maxwell said: “Leadership is Influence”, what then is Influence? Influence is Service.. Mr. Patrick Uduma.
“You don’t earn reputation by force, because reputation is outside of you”.. Mr. Patrick Uduma.
“Influence means nurturing relationship”… Barr. Osinachi Nwandem.
THE STORY OF OKON-CALABAR by Mr. Patrick Uduma:
Okon-Calabar, is from the East, he knew exactly what he wanted, but have no resources to accomplish his dreams. When he got matured, and his Master was about to die, Okon-Calabar told him, he has part of the family all his life and can manage his Master’s resources and eventually became the Manager.
Lesson from the Story: “If you have an idea, you can produce it through somebody and nurture it through”. Mr. Patrick Uduma.
Uche Onochie’s thought on idea development: “Your idea has to go through a process. The process of writing. Anything you don’t write, dies out naturally. Write your ideas properly, it will help you know if it’s investment friendly and ready. Successful/Busy people do not have much time for spare”.
Teach yourself how to write a Business Plan for an Investor…. Uche Onochie.
“You need to build network…Wealth are built from that network”… Uche Onochie
“You have to intentionally build loyalty, even among your peers”…. Mr. Patrick Uduma.
Sharing risks means Partnership.
TALENT DISPLAY:
Saxophonist and then the mind blowing Combophonist.
DR. STEPHEN OKORO (HEALTH):
“I want you to treat yourself, the way you treat your car”. The reason is this, because the average life-span of a Nigerian is shortened daily and it’s about 50years. “The Man spends his youth pursuing Wealth and when hie is old, he spends his Wealth on his Health”.
Health is not the mere absent of disease, but a state of physical, mental and social mental well-being. Every human-being is made up of body, soul and spirit.
Wellness: it refers to the optimal physical ability to achieve your plans.
Well-being: Has a more holistic aspect. It comprises so many aspects of the being. There are so many departments of the body, that helps it to function very well. Career health, financial health etc, all needs your attention.
Self-Care: The ability to take care of yourself and this is the key to curb untimely death.
Preventive Health: Take yourself to hospital when you are still strong, not otherwise.

PST. KINGSLEY CHUKWUJINDU (FINANCE):
“Whoever says, Money cannot buy Happiness, do not know where to go shopping”.
“We don’t have Wealthy Men in Nigeria; we have Rich Men”. Therefore, there are no Role Models in Nigeria.
There are Fundamental differences between Wealth and Riches?
“Wealth add value to Society”. “Riches destroys”.
Few Thoughts:

The Convener with some Crew Members
  1. Money is ignorant. Money is neutral.
  2. Life is not just about Money. Life is about Purpose. Life is about Fulfilment.
  3. Money is a Tool: and should be used in the service of Life. Money is just a Means. Relationship is Capital.
  4. At the Core of the Quest for Money, is the Concept of Power.
  5. You will either use Money or Money will use you.
  6. Few Thoughts on Finance:
  7. Earn and Spend (It’s what most people know about Money).
  8. The Concepts of Finance: Creation of Wealth, Savings. No matter what you are paid, you can’t make your way to finance. For you to walk into your Financial Paradise, your one stream income will have turn to four/multiple streams of income.
    Finance is creation, savings and investment and you need some discipline to make it happen. The Fundamental difference between Wealth and Riches is “Knowledge”.
    The Power of Wealth: Ideation, Hard work, Wisdom, and Network to get Wealth.
    “There is no Prayer-Point for Money, Money is an Action-Point”. God does not add, He multiplies (In Money-Factor).
    “Pray like you don’t work and work like you don’t Pray”.
    Norman Vincent Pearl said: “Empty Pocket never held anyone back, empty head does”.
    “Don’t Pay for Experience, it’s too Expensive, instead Lease Experience”.
    “There is value in Failure…When you fail, you are guided, but when you become Successful, you become a Coach”.
    Few Thoughts:
    “Wealthy people invest, Poor people consume”.
    Every Money that comes to you should be a seed.
    “Investment starts with Knowledge”. “The Greatest Investment you can make is SERVICE”.
    PST. KENNY AJIBADE (RELATIONSHIP):
    We live in a century, where we don’t talk about Financial Capital again, but Relationship Capital.
    One of the most important skills, we need is “People’s Skill”.
    Do people think of you as an Asset or Liability? Life boils down to relationship. Know how to build and relate to people.
    “When you relate to people, be your BEST”. “It’s not Gift that makes People, is Relationships”. “Where you rise from, determines where you rise with”.
    64% of the quality of Life is attached to your Home. “If she doesn’t Celebrate you, look for someone who does”. MARRY YOUR FRIEND! “Be very intentional about LOVE”.
    “One of the Greatest Wealth is RELATIONSHIP”. “ANGER is not wrong, but it is the mis-management of anger that is wrong”. “Be very intentional about your Relationship, Blind Love is killing people”.
    PANEL SESSION:
    “Without Vision, Purpose is Useless”. Pst. Kingsley Chukwujindu
    Save 20% of what you earn. Pst. Kingsley Chukwujindu
    In every Successful relationship, there is mutuality. Pst. Kenny Ajibade
    Marriage is not about satisfying me; it is about meeting each other’s needs. Pst. Kenny Ajibade.
    Love is Value. Without Mutuality, there is no Love. Self-Control is a rare virtue. Pst. Kenny Ajibade.
    Social well-being: Your ability to maintain healthy relationship. Live a Socially balance Life. Dr. Stephen Okoro.
    “Treat your In-Laws according to how you will treat your Parents”. Have a Budget Circle for your In-Laws.
    CLOSING REMARKS
    Mr. Patrick Uduma (The Convener), thanked everyone for being part of THE INSIDE MAN CONFERENCE and Awards where given to the Speakers.

MERCY WEDS SMITH (23rd April, 2022)

Mr and Mrs Smith Nwokocha Receiving Marriage Certificate.

Saturday, April 23, 2022. It was a special day for Miss Mercy Eberechi Eze and Mr. Smith Chinenye Nwokocha as they joyfully declared their consent before God and His Church to enter into Marriage.
The Couple made their intention known to the witnesses during their Holy Matrimony held at Corpus Christi Cathedral, Port Harcourt, to accept each other as husband and wife for the rest of their life.

The Couple: Mr and Mrs Smith Nwokocha


In his Homily at the nuptial Mass, Rev. Fr. Innocent Johnsantus reminded Christians that Marriage is an institution ordained by God, a beautiful thing, a covenant and not a contract. Fr. Johnsantus called on the couple to centre their Marriage on “Love and tolerance”. “Make your Marriage work, nurture your love for each other. Beauty fades, wealth ease out, but Love last forever”, he said. He enjoined them to uphold good communication and companionship. “Procreation is the secondary aspect of Marriage. Always invoke the presence of the Most Holy Trinity in your Marriage”, he sermonized. The Priest urged the people, especially the In-Laws to pray for the couple instead judging or castigating them with unnecessary information that will help build their home.

The Priests present are : Very.Rev.Fr.Dr.Joseph Kabari, Rev.Fr.Barr.Michael Akere, Rev Fr.Boniface Gbaamamuu and Rev.Fr.Innocent Johnsantus with The Sponsors Sir and Lady Hycienth Nwabueze with the Couple.


Present at the Wedding were: Rev. Fr. Dr. Joseph Kabari, Rev. Fr. Barr. Michael Akere, Rev. Fr. Boniface Gbaamamuu and Rev. Fr. Innocent Johnsantus. The couple thanked God for the grace to come together and prayed for more grace to live together in love. They appreciated their families, friends and well wishers for their time, support and prayers and asked God to bless them.

Couple with Children and Staff of De Marrilac Centre- Home of Street Children.
Couple with Students of Government Comprehensive Secondary School (GCSS)
Mr. Smith Nwokocha and Mr. Smart Nwokocha-Twin Brother (Best Man)
Just The Bride
The Groom Alone
Couple with Peace Corps of Nigeria.
Couple with Men On Suit
Couple with Family Members
Couple with Friends and Well wishers
Couples toast
FEDPONEK MARKETING ALUMNI
COBA’99
COBA’99

EMOTIONAL MASSEUR TRIBE! VALENTINE’S TURN-UP 2022.

By Smith Nwokocha

TOPIC: DECIDING TO GET MARRIED AND DECIDING TO STAY IN MARRIAGE.
@CLUB HOUSE
13TH FEBRUARY, 2022

HOST: TARIBO JOSEPH
SPECIAL GUEST: FREDA IDAHOSA-AJAYI

What are your expectations for Marriage?
Communication is so key. Spell out your expectations. How do you express yourself when you are sad, angry? Learn your partner. Do you support or leave him/her alone when he/she is angry?

  1. Understand each other’s Love language; It helps in communication.

Types of Love Language:
a) Access to Service
b) Quality Attention
c) Words of Affirmation
d) Gifts
e) Physical Touch
Ask for Accountability Partner, before getting married. Ask questions. Your tone matters. Your language? Learn Communication Skills; Learn your partner. Your bed actions.

  1. Fighting Fair; Don’t burst into tears, when you are in an argument or fight with your partner. Don’t bring past relationship into your conversation. Have an honest conversation. Don’t use the following phrases:
    a) You always
    b) You never
    The above phrases, communicate hopelessness. Picking your battles, like every argument is a war; I must win every argument, don’t make everything about YOU.

YOUR SPOUSE IS YOUR FRIEND HERE!
Men get creatives, when there is no pressure. Men are never going to be MIND-READERS! So, Communicate.

MEN’S GREATEST NEED IS “HONOUR”, NOT SEX. If you are being disrespectful to him, you will not get the best of him. Men love team work, friendship and communication on a very calm mood. He will not receive it, if you disrespect him. Confrontation tone does not work with men, friendship tone, honour tone makes it.

Your husband’s mother and you are parallel line; they don’t meet anywhere. So, give the mother the much respect and know you are not in competition with her.

Pray for your Spouse/Marriage daily.
Master Forgiveness constantly, in fact, master the act of not being offended. Freda Idahosa-Ajayi (Mrs).

emotionalmasseaur

Your Emotional Masseur
Freda Idahosa-Ajayi

TRUE LOVE RELATIONSHIP CONFERENCE 2022(HEART2HEART)! @HILTOP CENTRE, PORT HARCOURT.

By Smith Nwokocha

11th February, 2022

TOPIC: THE CHEATING MIND!

HOST: DR. STEPHANIE OARHE.

After a Worship and Music Interlude; The Host, Dr. Stephanie Oarhe, said; “If you have a transformed mind, you will succeed in Marriage”.

GUEST SPEAKER: PST. WISDOM OSIRI (PhD)
Cheating is simply getting emotionally and physically attached to someone else. Pst. Wisdom Osiri.

SOME CLASS OF CHEATING:
a) Cyber-Cheating: Cheating Online. Dating Online, outside your Marriage. Phones are supposed to help us socialized, but now we extend our Socialization outside boundaries; Phones today, facilitate cheating, instead of helping us unite, it begins to separate us.
b) Emotional Affair: Infidelity, for example in the workplace; you move away from professional to personal relationship. What it does, is that, it causes temporary disconnection and then, you see yourself taking emotional attachment to someone else.

Dr. Stephanie Oarhe and Pst. Osiri Wisdom (PhD)

SIGNS TO KNOW WHEN YOUR PARTNER IS CHEATING?

  1. When your spouse begins to hide his/her phone(s).
  2. Change in physical look/appearance. Just know there is a chasing going on and then, the victim will begin to feel emotional distance/disconnect.
  3. When your spouse reduce intimacy.
  4. The moment your spouse becomes unusually busy/unnecessarily busy.
  5. Your spouse is no longer willing to work on the relationship, he/she becomes more secretive.
  6. Your spouse becomes more defensive.
  7. More excessively attached to appearance.
  8. YOUR INTUITION IS YOUR FRIEND
  9. Social Media changes, including change of password.
  10. Your spouse spending pattern changes
    The moment you are connected to somebody else, you have to disconnect, to re-connect to another.

SOLUTIONS FOR CHEATS:

  1. Pray
  2. Privacy: “Cheating is a thing of the MIND”. There is something deeper that has to be done, to correct the wrong. A Cheat has been cheating long ago, before even getting married and its like habit that feeds the neuron.
    Two things motivate Man, the way God created us; PAIN and PLEASURE.
    “YOU CANNOT PRAY YOURSELF OUT OF WHAT YOU BEHAVE YOURSELF INTO”.
    “Human beings we are creatures of habits”.
    In our subconscious, it takes a process to come out of ugly habits. But, the word of God has the capacity to change us. The word is perfect, it can convert the soul.
Pst Wisdom Osiri and Mrs. Favour Osiri

EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT TO “EX” AFTER BEING MARRIED:
How To Cut Off Emotional Attachment from your EX; There are some EXs that are DESTRUCTIVE, while, there are some people you are supposed to marry and you eventually didn’t marry such persons; they are not bad influence.
Look at Cheating in two ways:
a) Destructive
b) Discovery path
If that your EX was that GOOD, you should have married that EX. Start over and build a life with your spouse. The EX-thing has to end. The comparison with your EX has to end, if there is anything wrong, talk to your spouse.
SELFISHNESS; Once a need is not met, someone will begin to remember past, pointing to EX.
Phone Communication is key. There is a new language, which is “Love me the way I want”. But this new language keeps changing. There is a sacrifice part to Relationship. We need to train ourselves to get things right. Build Affection and Communication.
Expose yourself to the right influence and positive influence.
Seek Counsel.
How you respond, is your own responsibility.
You can’t change people; you have to be the change you exalt.
Cheating on its own, have effects; Psychological torture in your mind.
STICK TO ONE PERSON FOR LIFE!

Pst. Chris Oarhe and Dr. Stephanie Oarhe

ADULTERY: “Once there is INFIDELITY, that Marriage is dead”. You have to re-marry your spouse to start-up.
Women are emotional/relational.
There is a cultural-birth, that Men cheat more than women. These days, the trend has changed, because women are rising in self-awareness. Women are advancing in different areas.
CHEATING IS BAD!
Statistics has shown that, most first-child/children are not usually from the Man/husband; It’s either the child is from the EX of the woman.

EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO A MARRIED MAN:
It is wrong, looking at a father. You wouldn’t want that for your daughter. Feed your mind on better things. “YOU SHOULD NOT BUILD YOUR JOY ON ANOTHER PERSON’S PAIN”.
‘’’THE MIND IS THE MOST POWERFUL SEX-ORGAN”.
“IF YOUR MIND CAN BE AFFECTED, YOUR LIFE CAN BE AMENDED”.. Pst. Wisdom Osiri.
“THE MIND IS THE MIRROR OF WHO YOU ARE”
“KEEP THE WORD OF GOD IN FOCUS”.. Dr. Stephanie Oarhe.
Stephanie Oarhe (Dr). Osiri Wisdom (Dr).

heart2heart #heart2heartconference2022

TRUE LOVE RELATIONSHIP CONFERENCE 2022
Port Harcourt Wakawaka